A Different Path
by khohen1
Summary: What if Alyssa had said yes? Can Banky go through with it? SLASH (stand alone)


Disclaimer: I always thought this was a little inane, cause of course I'm not Kevin Smith. . . If I were, this would be a movie you'd be watching, not a story you'd be reading. . . But alas, I shall. Characters property of whoever owns them, but most of all the ever-brilliant Kevin Smith, King of Dialogue. I hope I did him justice!  
  
~*~  
  
Holden walks over to Banky, smiling sadly down at him. "Banky, I know why you're having such a hard time with me and Alyssa."  
  
Banky nods, smiling, thinking he knows where this is going. He doesn't.  
  
Holden continues. "It's something that's been obvious forever and I guess - I guess I just didn't acknowledge it. You're in love me with."  
  
Banky's eyes widen slightly, his face freezes. His eyes flick over to Alyssa, wanting to just fucking slip into the couch, undetected, like he was never there. "What?!"  
  
"You're attracted to me. Just as, in a way, I'm. . . attracted to you. It makes sense. We've been together so long, we have so much in common."  
  
"Well, I gotta get goin'," Banky mumbles, too stunned and angry to stay. "I have to catch the last few moments of Little House"  
  
As Banky stands up Holden grabs him, kissing him on the mouth, and dropping him, dumbfounded, back on the couch. "It's something you're going to have to deal with, Bank."  
  
Banky looks to the floor, a little bit of uncertainty in his eyes. Was it true? Was what Holden was saying true? Was he in love with him?  
  
"And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, your sense of humor - "  
  
Banky decides to go with what he's best at: Humor. "Jesus, just 'cause a guys got a predilection towards dick jokes - "  
  
Holden looks at him, a look of infinite compassion and patience on his face. "Bank. Stop. Deal with it. You'll feel much better." Banky leans forward, burying his head in his hands. Holden sits on the chair, facing them, a look of almost glee on his face. "When I did some serious soul- searching, it came to me from outta nowhere. And it all made sense. And a calm came over me. I know what we have to do. And then you, Banky, you, Alyssa, and I. . . All of us - can finally be. . . all right."  
  
"Please don't say it. . . " Alyssa whispered, tears glistening in her eyes.  
  
"We've all gotta have sex together."  
  
Banky looked up, shocked. He couldn't have just said what Banky thought he had.  
  
"I mean look, don't you see?" Holden stood up, sitting on the couch between the two. "That would take care of everything. Alyssa, with you, I won't feel so inadequate or conservative anymore because I'll have done something on a par of your experience. And it will be with you, which will make it that much more powerful." He turned towards Banky. "And Banky, you can take that leap that everyone else but you sees you should take. And it will be with me, your best friend for years. We've been everything to each other but intimates and now we'll have been through that together too." He turns towards Alyssa and puts his hand on her thigh. "And it won't be a total leap for you, because a woman will be involved. And when it's over, all that hostility you feel towards Alyssa will be gone. . . because you'll have shared in something beautiful with the woman I love. It will be cathartic. This will keep up together. What do you say?"  
  
Banky sat back, taking a deep breath and letting out slowly. Before knowing what he was going to say he said it. ". . . Sure."  
  
Holden smiled briefly and turned to look at Alyssa. "You know I need this. You know it'll help."  
  
Alyssa looked at him, tears running down her face. "You don't want this, Holden. You really don't want this."  
  
Holden nodded, taking her hand. "Yes I do. I need this."  
  
She looked past him at Banky. She sighed, wiping at her tears and locking eyes with Holden. "This isn't going to solve anything, Holden. It'll make it worse. What if I moan differently and you alienate Banky for it? What if you see something in my eyes and resent me? What if, and I seriously doubt this, but what if I see something in Banky I've never seen before and fall in love with him and leave you?"  
  
Holden shook his head. "That won't happen."  
  
Alyssa reached up, running her hand down Holden's face. "Alright," she said. "For you. If for nothing else to prove that you're wrong."  
  
"Christ," Banky muttered quietly, covering his face.  
  
Holden turned to him. "Banky?" When Banky didn't look at him Holden reached up and took his hand away from his face. "Are you ready?"  
  
His eyes never leaving Holden he took a deep breath. "If we talk about this, Holden, it won't fucking happen."  
  
"Banky, I don't want you to do this if it makes you feel uncomfortable in any. . . "  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Holden," Banky said huskily, leaning forward suddenly and kissing Holden. He reached up and held his head to his, deepening the kiss, floored when Holden returned the kiss just as easily. Running his hand down Holden's face something fell into place and he let out a slight whimper, pulling back. "Christ," he whispered.  
  
"Yeah," Holden said quietly, shocked at how enjoyable the kiss had been. He could already feel himself beginning to stir. He couldn't look away from Banky and suddenly leaned forward again, crushing his lips to his best friends. Being the initiator this time, he took the kiss even further. He roughly pulled Banky to him, kissing him just as passionately as he had ever kissed Alyssa. For a moment he forgot Alyssa was there, and more importantly, he didn't care.  
  
The first thing Banky saw when he opened his eyes was Alyssa staring at him with tears in her eyes. He pulled back suddenly, yanking back his hand when he realized it had somehow found it's way to the bulge in Holden's pants. He watched as Alyssa put her hand on Holden's shoulder and turn him to face her, smiling at him and kissing him, running her fingers through his hair.  
  
Alyssa pulled back from the kiss, looking directly into Holden's eyes. "You really want this, Holden? Do you really want this to be a threesome?"  
  
Holden nodded, knowing he was harder than he'd ever been and not wanting to think about why that might be. Surely it had to be the excitement. Certainly he didn't harbor feelings for Banky, did he? "Yes, Alyssa, I'm sure."  
  
"Okay," she said, standing and walking over to Banky. "You realize this means that you and I have to get past our differences, don't you?"  
  
Banky looked at her, his eyes wide, still unable to comprehend what was happened in front of his very eyes. "Yeah," he managed to choke out.  
  
She nodded, holding out a hand. When Holden reached for her hand she yanked her hand away, shaking her head and instead taking Banky's. Banky took her hand and allowed her to pull him up, his head swimming with a million thoughts. Before he knew what she was doing he felt her hands cupping his face, bringing him forward for a kiss. Instinctively his arms came around her waist. As the kiss deepened he tightened his grip, slipping into the familiar ritual of man on woman mating habits. He forgot who she was, what she represented, and how he felt about her.  
  
Holden watched his best friend and his girlfriend make out with a confusing mixture of emotions. Anger, jealousy, and lust mixed in his mind to make a heady confusion. He stood, almost as if in a daze, walking up behind Banky and putting his hand on his back, leaning forward and kissing his neck. Briefly he wondered why it was Banky he'd walked to instead of Alyssa, but forgot his confusion the instant he heard Banky moan.  
  
The tongue in his mouth, the body crushed up next to his, and the warmth of the body behind him as Holden's tongue traced circles on Banky's neck was almost enough to make him lose his balance. He heard Alyssa moan into his mouth as he intensified their kiss when Holden's teeth bit into his neck. It was a chain reaction, and it was intoxicating.  
  
She'd never thought she'd enjoy kissing Banky this much. Hell, she'd never thought about kissing Banky period. Here she was though, at Holden's request, kissing Banky and loving it. He was different from Holden in this department as well as every other department. His technique wasn't as suave, it wasn't as practiced, it wasn't as gentlemanly. It was genuine, passionate, rough almost. It was damn good though, and Alyssa was hard pressed to decide which method she preferred.  
  
Alyssa's hands slowly drew down Banky's chest, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, only taking her lips from his to pull it over his head. When it was gone she licked at his neck, biting the collarbone. He shivered slightly, uncertain as to whether it was from being shirtless or from arousal. He felt a finger trace down his jaw and turned his head to meet Holden's gaze.  
  
The moment their eyes met Banky felt a stab in his chest, and his heart began to pound. He felt a lump form in his throat and he tried to speak but nothing came. He felt tears build behind his eyes and was shocked to see his expression mirrored in Holden's gaze. He let out a muffled cry as Holden's mouth met his again in a tender kiss. He turned, facing Holden and grabbing him by the waist, pulling him closer. Holden's arms went protectively around his back, one cradling his head as he deepened the kiss.  
  
Banky pulled back, confusion shining in his eyes. "I. . . I love you, Holden," Banky said, simultaneously horrified and relieved as the words tumbled out of his mouth unsolicited. His eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut with his hand, staring at Holden, waiting for him to run from him.  
  
Holden smiled gently at him, taking his hand away from his mouth. "I know," he said, gently kissing Banky again. "That's why we're doing this." He turned to Alyssa, reaching out a hand to her and pulling her to him, taking her mouth in his.  
  
Banky felt his heart beat quicken as Holden disengaged from Alyssa and held out his hand for Banky. Taking his hand he allowed Holden to lead him into the bedroom, followed closely by Alyssa. He watched Holden kiss Alyssa again and suddenly he felt his tears spill over. He watched through his tears as Holden took Alyssa's shirt off, running his hands over her lithe form. Feeling a sob threatening to rip through his chest he did the only thing he could; he turned and ran from the room.  
  
"Banky," Holden called out, turning and watching him run from the room. "Shit," he said, turning back to Alyssa.  
  
"Go," she said, stepping back.  
  
He stepped forward. "Alyssa. . . "  
  
"Go after him, Holden," she said quietly, feelings tears start coursing down her face. "He loves you more than you even know." She smiled at him sadly. "I think you love him more than you know, too."  
  
Holden closed his eyes, knowing she was right. "But I love you too, Alyssa."  
  
Alyssa nodded, reaching up and touching the side of his face. "I know you do. Now go."  
  
He turned quickly, running out of the room just in time to hear the front door slam shut loudly. He hurried over to the couch, slipping on his shoes where he'd kicked them off. Getting up and grabbing his pack of cigarettes he sprinted out the door.  
  
Reaching the street he quickly looked to the left and then the right before taking off to the right. Turning the first corner he saw Banky, still running haphazardly down the dark deserted road. "Banky," he called. "Bank stop!!"  
  
Banky looked back as he ran. Turning back just in time to see the pot hole he pitched forward, landing clumsily on his hands and knees, several rocks digging into his palms and knees. "Fuck," he said through his tears. "FUCK!"  
  
Holden finally reached him, skidding to a stop and crouching next to his friend, his hand on his back. "Bank," he said, reaching up and wiping at his tears. "Why'd you run?"  
  
When Banky looked at him Holden felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd never seen such raw pain and anger in Banky's eyes. "Why the FUCK do you THINK?!"  
  
Holden shook his head, at a loss for words. "Banky. . ."  
  
Banky rocked back onto his heels, getting the pressure off of his throbbing knees. "Fuck Holden. Fuck you," he said, sounding exhausted. He closed his eyes as he felt himself begin to shake from holding back the sobs. "Go away," he croaked out.  
  
"No," Holden said, taking Banky's face in his hands and forcing him to look at him. "I'm not leaving you," he said, leaning his face close to Banky's, locking eyes with him.  
  
Banky felt the tears pouring down his face and wished that for once God would take his request and let him just disappear. "I couldn't do it, Holden," he whispered. "I couldn't do it with her. . ."  
  
"Banky," Holden started.  
  
"Fuck, Holden, don't you get it?!" Banky sighed, trying to stand up, wincing as his knees protested. "I'm fucking IN LOVE with you! It's something I didn't realize until five minutes ago, but do you have any idea how much it hurt to watch you kiss her like that?!"  
  
Holden stood, feeling himself becoming emotional just watching Banky break like that in front of him. "Bank, I thought you'd want this."  
  
"I want YOU," Banky screamed, poking his finger in Holden's chest. "I don't want you and her, I want YOU!"  
  
Holden closed his eyes, finally realizing how much he'd hurt his oldest and dearest friend. "I'm sorry, Banky. I didn't think. . ."  
  
"You're fucking damn well right you didn't think," Banky yelled, reaching up and running his hands over his hair, wishing he still had his hat on as a defense mechanism. "You NEVER fucking think!" He shook his head, letting out a bitter laugh. "What the fuck man?! Banky's in love with me, so I know, I'll let him fuck Alyssa and me so I can get more experience?! What the FUCK does that say about ME Holden?!" He looked at Holden, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting into uncontrollable sobs. "Do you think that fucking little of me?"  
  
"No," Holden yelled, shaking his head vehemently. "Banky, you know I love you. . ."  
  
"But not that way, right Holden," Banky asked, backing up, prepared to run again. "Not THAT way. But you're willing to sacrifice yourself for me, right? You're willing to let this disgusting little fantasy of mine happen so I'll know I'm gay? And, not to mention, so you can be 'on par' with Alyssa, right?"  
  
"Bank, it's not disgusting. . . I wasn't sacrificing. . ."  
  
"FUCK YOU, Holden! Go fuck YOURSELF," Banky yelled, turning and starting to walk away.  
  
"Wait a fucking minute, Banky," Holden said, stepping forward quickly and grabbing Banky's arm. "Don't I get the fucking chance to explain myself?!"  
  
"WHAT, Holden?! WHAT?!"  
  
"Maybe I'm in love with you too," Holden yelled, almost shocked when it came out. He shook his head, trying to clear it. "I don't know, Banky, but I certainly fucking felt SOMETHING when we kissed!"  
  
"Don't fuck with me, Holden," Banky said, shaking his head. "Don't lie to me, not now."  
  
"I'm not," Holden said quietly, smiling. "Have I ever lied to you, Banky? Ever?"  
  
Banky stood perfectly still for a moment, absorbing what Holden had said. "No," he said quietly. He looked wearily at Holden as he stepped forward and put his hands on Banky's shoulders. "I can't do this Holden. I can't allow myself to fall into you if you're going to turn around and say 'never mind' in a day."  
  
Holden smiled at him. "I won't," he said. "And you can take that to the bank."  
  
Banky laughed slightly at their old joke, the obvious play on his name. "Holden. . ."  
  
"Shut up," Holden said, leaning forward and kissing Banky softly on the lips. After a moment he pulled back, his eyes still closed. "There's definitely something here, Banky."  
  
Banky looked up at him, still uncertain. "What about Alyssa?"  
  
Holden frowned for a moment. "I think Alyssa already knows." He laughed. "Funny how she had it figured out before we did, huh?"  
  
Banky ran his hands through his hair, still unwilling to accept the situation. "Holden, we can't let this fuck up our friendship. I can handle not being with you as long as you're still. . . as long as I still have you."  
  
Holden wound his hand through Banky's short hair, smiling at him with his adorable half-smile. "You've always had me, that's not going to change," he said. His smile widened. "Now maybe we'll have each other in a whole other sense of the word."  
  
Banky let out a puff of air, overwhelmed by the emotions swirling in his mind. Holden, as he always had, knew just how to calm him down. He pressed his lips to his again lightly, drawing Banky to him gently. Soon, though, they were breathless and panting into each other mouths, stumbling to the side of the street until Banky was leaned up against the wall and Holden was pressing into him.  
  
Banky let his head fall into the crook of Holden's neck as Holden licked at his ear, letting out a hiss of pleasure. "Fuck, Holden," he growled as he felt Holden's hand wander down to his hardening bulge.  
  
"Do you want me to stop," Holden asked breathlessly, pausing.  
  
"Fuck no," Banky said, laughing at the neediness in his voice. "Don't stop."  
  
Holden lifted his head and kissed Banky again, deftly unzipping Banky's jeans quickly. He smiled into Banky's mouth as he felt him moan when his hand cupped him through his silky boxers. Slowly he began to perform the task he'd so many times performed on himself, feeling himself grow harder with each hitch in Banky's throat. Just when he heard Banky began to pant in earnest he realized that he would be joining Banky in his climax.  
  
Mere seconds later they both lean against the wall, catching their breath. Banky clung to Holden as much to hold himself up as to feel closer still to Holden. "Christ," he finally said, still panting. "That was almost embarrassingly quick."  
  
Holden chuckled against his collarbone and Banky decided he liked that a whole lot. "Atleast you had help, I wasn't even touched."  
  
Banky looked at him, surprised. He reached down, smiling at Holden's chagrined expression. "Well, well, my friend. Looks like I have more power over you than ever suspected."  
  
"Shut up," Holden growled, hungrily kissing Banky once more before pushing off of him. "Let's go home."  
  
Banky pulled up his pants, looking around a bit belatedly to see if they had an audience. When he was satisfied that they didn't he grinned at Holden and pulled him to him for anther kiss. Holden threw an arm around him and Banky felt peace envelope him for the first time in many many years.  
  
"Wait," he said as they reached the steps to their apartment, putting an arm out to stop Holden. "What about Alyssa?"  
  
Holden bit his lip, looking up at their window. "I have a feeling Alyssa's gone."  
  
Banky looked at him. "You think she left already? She doesn't have a car."  
  
Holden smiled sadly at him. "I think she's more than just gone from our place, Bank."  
  
Banky looked at him for a moment before looking down. "Sorry," he mumbled.  
  
Holden smiled and him and pulled him closer to his side. "Let's deal with that tomorrow. . . right now you have a favor to return." 


End file.
